Long time readers of Stoffel Presents will know that I am usually quite strongly and vocally against the remakes/remasters that gaming seems to have become inundated with this year.
That been said, I missed out on Destroy All Humans when it first released in 2005 and due to how dated the original has now become I was looking forward to finally trying out this cult classic. As I sit here and type this review now I wish I hadn’t.
Of course the story in Destroy all Humans is exactly the same as the 2005 release. You take on the role of Cryptosporidium-137. A clone of the Furon empire who has been created for destruction and violence.
Your predecessor Cryptosporidium-136 crashed on Earth and has been taken captive and it is your job to take over the Earth and find him. Also, it turns out, years ago some Furons visited Earth after destroying the population of mars and being soldiers on shore leave the inevitable happened.
This has lead to human beings now carry pure Furon DNA in their cranium and it just so happens the Furons need that DNA to be able to continue cloning.
The graphics of Destroy All Humans as had a massive overhaul from the original release but unfortunately all this achieves is the look of the game that would seem at home on PS3 towards the end of its life rather than the PS4 nearing the end of its cycle.
I am not been overly mean here when I saw there are launch day PS4 titles that look better than this Destroy All Humans reskin. That’s what it is a reskin. It isn’t a remaster.
All that has been changed is the dialogue, graphics and cut scenes. This isn’t remastered. it is re-skinned
As mentioned above Destroy All Humans is a re-skin and not a remaster and it is about time we started calling this out. It is shameful cash-grabbing behaviour that exploits the nostalgia of gamers in order to part them from their hard-earned money.
The levels are the same, the dialogue is the same (although cleaned up) the controls are clunky and complicated, the gameplay is stunted and the levels are too small and short.
The humour in Destroy All Humans is still the same and from what I can tell nothing has been watered down. The setting of 1959 “Americana” era is captured well and the politicians of the time are lampooned beautifully in-game. I am however impressed that Black Forest games left jokes in mocking communists. especially with today’s real-world environment.
It has been a hell of a long time since I have been this dissapointed in reviwing a game. As I mentioned at the begining of this review, I completley missed Destroy All Humans back in 2005 so was looking forward to it this year. But as with everything 2020 it was to be unpleasent to say the least.
I am against the crash grabbing, nostalgia stoking lazy development that are remasters and sadly Destroy All Humans now sits within that bracket. That is incredibly sad. Last week it was a cult classic today it is a shallow and a former shadow of itself.
At what point can we start calling out remasters for false advertising? Destroy All Humans looks like a PS3 game and plays like a PS2 game. How is that remastered for PS4??
1 thought on “Destroy All Humans”