June 3, 2020

Klondike Solitaire

Klondike Solitaire – Nintendo Switch Review

Ever wanted to play solitaire but not had a pack of cards or a smartphone handy, but do have your Switch? No? Fair enough.
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Review by Bobby Davies

Debussy’s ‘Clair de Lune’ is one of the most inspiring and important pieces of classical piano music ever created. Taking cues from a quote from Debussy himself, “Music is the space between the notes”, Claire de Lune’s notes meander forwards in segments that are far enough apart to be distinct, but close enough to still flow elegantly. With phrases that show no regularity in phrase, a sense of floating and a suspension of momentum is formed. A suspension of momentum that removes all desire to do anything but listen, least of all review this piece of garbage.

Now you might be thinking, “Bobby, what on earth does one of the greatest pieces of music ever created have to do with Klondike Solitaire for the Nintendo Switch?” To be fair, if you weren’t thinking that I’d be worried. But it’s the main menu music. There’s the link and it’s the best thing about Klondike Solitaire.

Ever wanted to play solitaire but not had a pack of cards or a smartphone handy, but do have your Switch? No? Fair enough. The game is as dull as it sounds, offering neither excitement nor challenge.

Klondike Solitaire

Completing games of solitaire for some reason earns you experience points towards your level, and your level can unlock more patterns for the back of your cards, music, pretend tables, etc. Rather annoyingly, Clair de Lune is the last in-game music track you unlock. Ah well only 25 more tracks to unlock, “Sophisticated City” will have to do.

It’s not as if Klondike Solitaire is overly dreadful, I just don’t see the need for it to exist. Actually, that’s a lie. Spelling errors in the tutorial telling me I’ll “loose” my points if I hit undo. Christ, looks like we’ve got tight points and tight trousers then.

Another baffling thing is the “Equipment” tab. When I think equipment I’m assuming there’ll be guns, swords, armour, magic, or some combination. Here it’s just card backs and tablecloths? I hope there’s a large dragon that can be slain with a red tablecloth and Vegas-style solitaire scoring.

Don’t waste your money on this one kid. Please and thank you.

Score based on menu music – 10/10
Score without the menu music – 2/10